missing money

The way our office works when we bill medicare is that the money goes to the patient and it is then their responsibility to bring it in. It's complicated and boring to explain and not so important so I'll move on:
Today a very old patient brought in some medicare money. I opened her account and looked at the medicare explanation of benefits and got very confused until I looked more closely at the date... December 2006. I told what I assume was her son this. He asked her, "Have you been holding onto the medicare money?"
She said, "Oh no I always bring them in right away."

bookkeepers & their figures- from an old male patient's perspective

"She doesn't have the figure of a bookkeeper...
none of ya'll have figures of bookkeepers..."

I got a problem.

We have a dear elderly patient that is very hard to understand because of her thick accent.
Our conversations are short but often hilarious.

The other day she requested I give her a number for a store that sold walkers because the one that she had didn't have wheels in the back and stuck in place.
She then requested I hurry because she had to go get her nails done. As I looked up the number I asked about getting her nails done.
"I miss my last appointment" She said shaking her head.
"You're getting a manicure?" I asked.
"No- I do my fingers. I get foot."
"I told them...."

(Loooong pause)

"I got a problem."

and that was it. End of story.
FAVORITE.